The birth
order, or rather the position of a child in a nuclear family apparently plays a
significant role in shaping the child’s behavior and personality when he or she
interacts with other members of society. This interesting idea has been brought
up by L. K. Forer in her short piece of writing. She starts her point by
explaining the importance of parent-child communication and built the outline
of the behaviors of first, middle, last, and only child from there with sound
logic and reasoning. Although she did not give concrete examples in her
writing, her description of a child’s personality is generally accurate and
backed up with logical reasons.
I believe that Forer intended to elaborate children and families in general, not limited to certain cultures or lifestyles, and I think that she succeeded in doing so. First of all, she divided the “classes” of children into three: first child, later children, and only child with later children being further divided into middle children and the youngest or last children. As opposed to typical families in the US that are composed of parents and two children, this classification allows families with more than two children or families with only one child to fit in the discussion. Furthermore, the lack of concrete examples and the use of general descriptions of actions (e.g. “care for”, “imitate”, “struggle”, etc.) make the description suitable to any families regardless of how do they actually do things. For example, to “take care of myself” can mean “to be able to earn money by working” in one country, while it might be interpreted as “to be able to fend off wild animals and find food” in another.
My family consists of my father, mother, my older sister and me; therefore making my sister the oldest sibling and me the youngest. Our behaviors are also partly well-described by Forer. For example, as the youngest sibling I rely on older people in a lot of occasions, and I thus developed an easy-going personality as I thought that very few things can 'go wrong', and even when they do, I will be able to get help somehow. Now that both of us are living in Bandung away from our parents, my sister takes care of me instead. From time to time she would ask me whether I am healthy or remind me to not of things I forgot. In this sense, she is already acting very parental. With a few exceptions on our own unique personalities, I can conclude that Forer's reasoning is well-thought enough it applies even to my family.
I believe that Forer intended to elaborate children and families in general, not limited to certain cultures or lifestyles, and I think that she succeeded in doing so. First of all, she divided the “classes” of children into three: first child, later children, and only child with later children being further divided into middle children and the youngest or last children. As opposed to typical families in the US that are composed of parents and two children, this classification allows families with more than two children or families with only one child to fit in the discussion. Furthermore, the lack of concrete examples and the use of general descriptions of actions (e.g. “care for”, “imitate”, “struggle”, etc.) make the description suitable to any families regardless of how do they actually do things. For example, to “take care of myself” can mean “to be able to earn money by working” in one country, while it might be interpreted as “to be able to fend off wild animals and find food” in another.
My family consists of my father, mother, my older sister and me; therefore making my sister the oldest sibling and me the youngest. Our behaviors are also partly well-described by Forer. For example, as the youngest sibling I rely on older people in a lot of occasions, and I thus developed an easy-going personality as I thought that very few things can 'go wrong', and even when they do, I will be able to get help somehow. Now that both of us are living in Bandung away from our parents, my sister takes care of me instead. From time to time she would ask me whether I am healthy or remind me to not of things I forgot. In this sense, she is already acting very parental. With a few exceptions on our own unique personalities, I can conclude that Forer's reasoning is well-thought enough it applies even to my family.
Another
possible explanation for the differences in children behavior in a family is
how well a father or a mother treats a child of a certain gender in comparison
to another. A parent generally develops favoritism to a child of opposing
gender; a mother who is the youngest sister as a child might show more fondness
to her oldest son and in a similar way, a father who is the oldest son as a
child is likely to be more attentive to his youngest daughter. This is particularly true in my family because as the youngest male sibling, I tend to receive more of my mother's attention than my older sister. In a lot of situations, I found myself being praised by mother for something minor (e.g. saying my skeptical opinion on a matter) while my sister will tend to receive neutral response. Although my personality crashes a lot with my mother leading to our constant debating over many silly things, the same amount of attention is not directed towards my sister.
Different treatments will lead to different developments in the child’s personality, especially how he or she views and positions himself or herself when interacting with the other siblings, or later in life, with friends and acquaintances. The favorite child tends to rely on the parent while the unfavorited, albeit a bit jealous, will sooner become independent but with lower self-esteem.
Different treatments will lead to different developments in the child’s personality, especially how he or she views and positions himself or herself when interacting with the other siblings, or later in life, with friends and acquaintances. The favorite child tends to rely on the parent while the unfavorited, albeit a bit jealous, will sooner become independent but with lower self-esteem.
Of course, there are still many other possible factors: the neighborhood the child grew in, or the age gap between two siblings, etc. How heavily these factors affect a child will differ from family to family and will need more exploring. In conclusion, different children behaviors is caused by the parents’ treating
them differently. While the birth order plays a major role in defining the position of a child in a family and how his or her develop personality,one of the other possible factor is a parent’s favoritism towards a
child of certain gender.
